BOOK REVIEWS

The Kindness Formula puts life’s best lessons on paper. Jim demonstrates how success is a direct result of your own positive behavior. This book shows, if you possess a high moral character and are kind to others, your good deeds will be returned to you many times over. This book is a great read!  It should be included in every school reading list.

THE KINDNESS FORMULA: Caring + Character = Success

By Jim Olayos

Editor’s note: In truth, I really didn’t know what to expect from Jim Olayos’ book. After all, there are lots and lots of books about “doing the right thing” in life. But as you’ll see in my review below, if you’re a sports parent or coach, this book couldn’t be more timely. 

Go into any bookstore, either in person or online, and you’ll be struck by how many books have been written over the years regarding how to live a more positive and gentler life than you currently lead.

But as wonderful and as well-meaning as most of these books are, very few of them come close to the powerful stories and uplifting impact that Jim Olayos’ new book offers.

Originally educated and trained as an attorney, Jim found himself always coming back to his true calling in life, his love of sports.  His inherent passion for athletic competition grew into a love for coaching, so much so that he eventually sold his law practice and became a full-time high school athletic director.

We all know that in today’s hyperkinetic world of youth and high school sports, there is simply no more challenging job than being an athletic director. But whereas some jaundiced AD’s view the daily challenges of being involved with the constant pressures of working with kids, their parents, and coaches as a never-ending grinding chore, Jim has a totally opposite perspective. That is, by being in a position where he can teach and guide teenagers through the prism of sports, his positive approach to life and its ups-and-downs transformed  him into a unique and rare commodity.

But don’t get me wrong. THE KINDNESS FORMULA is hardly a “feel-good” Pollyana story. Jim has been through real heartache, most notably the unexpected loss of his son Jimmy, who died while competing in a triathlon at age 31. Not one to wallow in self-pity or to feel sorry for himself, Jim puts his son’s passing in perspective, but always with a sense of true dignity and honor. You come away wishing you had had the chance to meet Jimmy in person.

The overarching purpose of this inspiring book is to remind us all that life is full of unexpected surprises. But those of us who can somehow find a way to do the right thing, especially when it comes to helping others who are in need, or going the extra yard when others have shied away, always brings unexpected rewards of their own. Rewards that can’t be measured in traditional manners.

Yes, there’s a remarkable story about one of his sons finding an unexpected treasure in a pair of purchased shorts in an outlet store in Florida. It’s a story that all starts with Jim buying $10 worth of lollipops for a locaI charitable cause. In all candor, I had to re-read this story a couple of times for it all to sink in. But it was truly amazing, and it’s a perfect example of how paying it forward in life can bring its own rewards.

As a parent, you will recognize many of the daily or routine situations that you have encountered with your own youngsters, or with young athletes when choices in life can be difficult. I found myself circling numerous phrases and paragraphs in the book that offer great insight and wisdom, such as:

When Steve Jobs was reflecting on his life and his goals, he summed up his philosophy in this way: “My goal in life isn’t to be the richest man in the cemetery.”

Or when Jim Olayos was providing career advice to his own boys: “Try to do what you love to do, before you’re forced to do what you have to do.”

And of course, why the concept of sportsmanship is still so vital to our kids and the next generation of athletes. As Jim writes: Play with Intensity. Win with Class.

By the end of the book, you feel uplifted, refreshed, and more positive about how and your family can face the hurdles that life throws our way. To that end, if you are looking for real guidance and an affirmation of the right way to live one’s life, I strongly encourage to get a copy of THE KINDNESS FORMULA.

Rick Wolff

The Kindness Formula is a deeply reflective book that speaks clearly to kids, parents and coaches, with life lessons at every turn.  Jim brings values to life through real life heart-warming stories.  Knowing firsthand the profound, inspiring and emotional wake that his son Jimmy left on our team after his passing, it is no wonder where he got his unique strength of character from, by living these lessons. 

Dear Jimmy,

…..So Bob & I were in Florida last week and one morning Bob took off to a Sporting Clays tournament, and I took to the beach with my chair, beach bag, a cup of Starbucks and “The Kindness Formula”. 

Little did I know that within 10 minutes into your book, I would realize the one thing I forgot to pack was a highlighter! I found myself saying I need to print this phrase and this phrase and that phrase and post them in different places in our house. But that’s okay because it gives me reason to read the book again.

I decided to write you a letter to let you know your book really hit home for me and is probably the best self-help book I have read! The stories you tell and advice you give rings all so “right”.

I grew up in an Italian family with 4 siblings and my parents were from “The Greatest Generation”. To this day I still feel I had the greatest parents anyone could have. They certainly had success by “loving who they did life with”. My mother unfortunately died from Leukemia at the age of 54 and my Dad was left with a broken heart and 5 teenagers. He then embarked, alone, in seeing us through middle school, high school, sports activities, college, weddings, and 11 grandchildren. 

As I read your book it brought lots of tears of joy as I thought about my Mom and Dad and the Generosity, Determination, Respect, Responsibility, Mentorship, Integrity, Resilience, Leadership and Success they instilled in us and left a Legacy for us like no other.

As we look at the current state of the world and the widespread un-kindness, cancel culture and dishonesty, your insight and advice can surely counteract all that! Thank you for making me want to do my part in influencing myself and those around me to practice your formula!

So the morale of my long winded letter to you is to say Thank You for taking the time and effort to put this great book together! I pray that the hole in your heart from the loss of Jimmy will be filled with smiles from all the people you have touched with kindness in your life journey. I’m happy to be one of those smiles & honored to know such a “Good Guy”.

I hope to run into you soon at the Mall.

Love & Hugs,

Camille

P.S. Hi to Kim and the best to your & your family!

The Kindness Formula is truly a very special act of grace. Jim’s stories come to life because they flow directly from his heart to that of the reader. All of his lessons, including those that are deeply personal are shared in the most positive and inspirational way, so others may benefit. The Kindness Formula couldn’t be more relevant today. This book is a gem, all young and not so young adults should read and practice. 

The Kindness Formula is the best example to show people “Nice guys really DO finish first!”. Coach Olayos just doesn’t tell you how to find happiness or success, but he gives you real life examples and PROVES if you approach life in a certain way then joy, happiness and fulfillment will follow. If you have a child, this is a must read for them at any age. Enjoy his quotes, he is a walking encyclopedia of them! I’m giving a copy of this book to each of my 3 boys the next time I see them. 

I have been often asked to write endorsements for books but never have I been more honored to recommend this one.  Jim Olayos, is one of the finest men I know and the principles in this book are not just tools that he shares with us, but life lessons that he has personally lived as a dedicated father, mentor and coach.  Kindness is an often overlooked path to greatness but it is nevertheless one of the most powerful.  In the words of the Bible: “clothe yourselves with kindness.” Col 3:12 NLT This book will help you do just that and you will love what happens to you.

The Kindness Formula is a rare gift that teachers should share with their students, coaches with their teams and, most importantly, every parent with their children. The values espoused by Jim should represent the most fundamental and essential component of our individual being, truly enabling a kinder, safer and more respectful existence...a world where everyone feels included. Let's all harness Jim's wisdom and make the world a better place!

I'd like to start off by thanking you for many things.  Firstly, I'd like to thank you for writing such a knowledgeable, awe-inspiring book.  The lessons you've taught and the "formula" that you have put together is surely the key to not only living a good life, but to being a good person in general.  If I could have everyone on earth read this, I surely would.  It is people like you who continue to pass on their own knowledge and advice, that contribute to making this world a better place.  Secondly, I would like to thank you for always embodying your own kindness: for not only being one who give advice, but for being the absolute perfect example of how even the toughest hardships can be taken and made into something good through simple yet genuine acts of kindness.  Your ability to put any situation into perspective is one that I admire and strive to endure every day.  You are truly the epitome of positivity and the word "perspectivity" is one I will never forget.  I'd lastly like to thank you for the candy bowl.  This thanks is not only for the sweet treats, but for the lessons you have taught me every time I stepped into your office.  I am grateful for the candy bowl, and not surprised in the slightest that the bowl itself has a lesson to it.  I will never forget this bowl because it led me to meet one of the greatest teachers I have ever encountered.  You stated that to be an inspiration is an honor, and I would sincerely like you to know that you are truly one.  I often remind myself of your advice, and I often put it into practice.  I found great pleasure while reading the book and being able to recall some of the lessons you have already taught me yourself, and by being able to read more.  I see you mentioned thank you cards in your book, I would like to assure you that I am giving thanks because I want to. "We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives" - John F. Kennedy

...the stories hit my heart and soul and I want to share that feeling with my friends and or whoever can use it!

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...fantastic book. A powerful message that I pray resonates with me on a daily basis as well as the rest of the world. Congratulations on writing such a special book but more importantly congratulations on a life well lived.

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I just finished the book last night, it took me longer to get through it than I anticipated but it was so well put together - thank you so much for sharing all of your lessons with us, I so much appreciate the vulnerability it took to share everything. My staff was so excited to receive the book last week too.

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You have included so many great messages for readers of any age! I hope you have considered speaking to school groups about the content as well, because it would be an experience of great value to the kids! 

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I just finished reading The Kindness Formula, read it this afternoon; I could not put it down.  It is truly a masterpiece of wisdom, encouragement, very personal life lessons and most of all the power of Kindness.  I admired Jim Olayos and now he has elevated my admiration to a profound appreciation of this wonderful book that should be shared with students, parents and anyone wanting to make a difference in their journey of life.  Congratulations Jim, well done.

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...got your book for Christmas and I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed reading it.  Very well written with excellent comments and examples on each topic.  I think it should be standard reading for all high school students.

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There is no better way to honor the memory of your son Jimmy than to cite these wonderful principles and then expand on the values of each.  People who incorporate these principles in their lives are highly likely to be well balanced and content with whatever opportunities/obstacles that come their way.